Arthur Miller - Take One's Life in One's Arms

I think it's a mistake to ever look for hope outside of one's self. One day the house smells of fresh bread, the next of smoke and blood. One day you faint because the gardener cuts his finger off, within a week you're climbing over corpses of children bombed in a subway. What hope can there be if that is so? I tried to die near the end of the war. The same dream returned each night until I dared not to go to sleep and grew quite ill. I dreamed I had a child, and even in the dream I saw it was my life, and it was an idiot, and I ran away. But it always crept onto my lap again, clutched at my clothes. Until I thought, if I could kiss it, whatever in it was my own, perhaps I could sleep. And I bent to its broken face, and it was horrible...but I kissed it. I think one must finally take one's life in one's arms.

Arthur Miller
from the play After the Fall

Pictures from the White Desert.

So upon reader-request (haha! imagine the pomposity of saying that) I've put up some pictures of the White Desert - past bahriyya. It was the most beautiful part of our trip - First we crossed these slopes made black by the presence of iron. Then the night was spent sleeping under the stars in the desert full of these 'mushroom' like limestone formations. Zeugens, indeed, they are called.

Already since, have been to the Dusshehra party where we did a lot of dancing! Have pictures to post up of that too!

being and time in bahriyyaa, the white desert

'twas fun, i say. Went with Nathalie and her friends from Ireland and Scotland, and Raoul. Stayed one night at a hotel in Bahriyya. Saw palms - plucked and ate dates, had fitaar outside after fasting time. But the topper was the second day when we went out into the White Desert and saw the place with 'zeugens' (i think), mushroom-shaped formations of limestone eroded by wind. Lurvely!

The girls were in love, or at least drooling after the taxi driver, who I must say was a great character, very giving and nice, and sober - not weird or perverted at all - such a refreshing change from the touristy scene in egypt. We met two italians, one of them had eyes to die for. I shared a taxi with him back home. He was so nice, but he didn't ask for my number - he might've wanted to, though (or that's what i tell myself).

One of the guys i have a crush on though hasn't called/written back to my text message, and I'm going to further anonymise this blog lol :) Cannot go on like zeees.

Am listening to Jack Johnson and its heavenly :) I'm going to download it onto my pc so i can listen in more :)

cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeers from the chi :) will post bahriyya pictures. Oh and I saw my first SHOOTING STAR! yay.. heavenly indeed it was! :)

reconnaissance..

..with the page (on the web).

Its been a long, long while. And I kind of worry that my neighbour clicking keys next to me will see the screen. I'm a very shy kind of a person. I really want to anonymise this blog now. Parading my words is exhibitionism enough.

Maggie's been writing so well on her blog, makes me feel ashamed for having stayed away so long, and she notices enough to know that I've been away, and she's always there encouraging. Maggie, the cheerleader. She knows what's important to me; somehow its so easy to see it when you're someone else looking into another life.

Talking about looking from the outside, I was looking at Zamalek going over the bridge, and then I realised that I was looking at a scene from the 'outside', a point that could be said to be objective. But even this objectivity - where you could see things in their surrounding - had a point of view. I could see the same island from another side, from on top from above like a map - it could have all these different angles, and different inclusions and exclusions. Even occlusions, things that it hid - its blind spots.

I took out this thick book from my brother's library on "Do What You Are". Some sort of career guidance book - and its so darn thick I could make a career reading it. I wish these things came in easy-to-read bullet-form pamphlets, titled so: "How to decide on your marriage partner". "Knowing the right career for you". "Knowing when to kick that person out of your life". "Saying NO" - although the latter should come in a three-step process. Breathe in. Say NO. Now smile, and feel accomplished my child.

I read The Little Prince recently. In fact, its in my bag and I am reading "Letter to a Hostage" by the same author. I feel like I haven't been reading many books, maybe I should keep track and that way I will know that I am reading, and doing things, even though it feels like I haven't been.

Also, I quit the job at the Egyptian Gazette. A lot of hum-hawing that ended up in Breathe in, say no, feel accomplished. I think I made the right decision though. I hope what's coming is better.