echolalia?

I am perhaps very close to creating a fictional character to talk to. Or write. Perhaps they serve the same purpose. I am meeting a few new people and it makes me rethink all the time. I miss the old folks I used to hang out with. Nothing like the comfort of things old, old shoes, and old jeans to slip into etc. I even finished my old perfume so I have to try out all the other ones that have been lying around but nothing can replace “Dune”. :)



Even when I meet all these new people, I wish I had someone ‘old’ I could call and talk to about it all. Doesn’t seem to be possible at the moment. I really miss you guys, so reply to my blogs or email me or something. I’ll be heading off to India on Dec 3. Looking forward to that. After much back and forth tishing tossing of ideas finally Jayu and I agreed on a couple of destinations (more than one!) in India. Now, whatever comes of it, we both want to relax, and that’s what we’ll try and get done. Although, I’m so tense these days figuring that trying to relax is one of the most un-relaxing things to do. Need to get a masseuse to help me out!

Here I am in a rage again,

and like a cheesy movie I begin to sit down and collect myself by reading a book, or writing my ‘masterpiece’. I didn’t imagine this at all; a few days after graduation and no sense of direction and complete boredom. I suppose I have no one to celebrate it with. I feel completely alone. Like a friend once said, going through the pages of my address book wondering whom I can call. Who who who?



Kafka said despair turns you to writing. I should bring back all those books I buried, and breathe/read through them again.



But I am tired of books. I want to sit with people. I want my old friends back. I want to squeeze these continents back into Cairo, back into the little puddle of AUC – I want my youth back. At 25, I say that.



Then again, too much despair because I’m not ‘having a good time’. I will just look at the horrid news on BBC and comfort myself with the relative luxuries of my life. Or try really hard to do so.

Maybe all this angst is just because I’m currently unemployed and without direction. Am considering doing a TEFL course with my cousin. Also am considering jobs overseas, mainly in Asia, areas like Taiwan, Japan, will consider Korea etc. All recommendations welcome :). I haven’t been writing much… wonder where that will go. Need to write to Calarts with a portfolio thingiemajig. Actually should have a website I can post stuff to, but I’d have to find one that is accessible only to owners of a certain password; an exclusive website.

Reussit

That's success in French! Alors, I'm soooo happy I PASSED MY EXAMS. I'm an MA now in Comparative Literature! Yay! Yay! I'm so proud of myself, and so very thankful to everyone - start with mom dad and bro :) to teachers friends and all the jazzy bunch. je miss you je thank you. je love you.



had a lovely trip in cali and met some really lovely people. am seriously considering moving there, but will have to see if i can afford that. Am in Illinois now in urbana-champaign and will be heading off to Cairo tomorrow. yay yay!



salam aleikum to a new life ;)

exams over, in the gold now

Those three traumatising events (well 2 actually really, one was okay) called exams are over. No more no more I hope. I think they went okay... I hope the teachers do too, and let me go. I'm having a good time in California, but still feel like I haven't had enough sleep, not the way I used to hog it in Cairo, so in the afternoon, after lunch I really feel like setting up tent and dozing a few, but it never really happens.. I'll make up for it once I reach Cairo. Can't believe I've stayed away from the blog for so long too!



So the golden state of California is quite breathtaking. Lovely sunsets, beaches, nice green grass, lotsa trees and people with smiling faces.. except today there was a tiff on the bus between a tall lean African-American with a huge cross and a white middle-aged man who kept showing him the finger and calling him names across the bus way after their yelling was over. interesting to watch really.



anyhow... the other day i went to a lambardi farm festival, where they sold pumpkins for halloween, and corn on the cob (yumm buttered) and trinkets and there was a band dressed country playing rock 'n roll songs which was fun fun fun! i've been attending myriam's classes and its going well, i like the people... i'll try and get a picture before i go so i can remember them.



cheers all i'll be in cairo soon. :) november 9 to be precise

chitra