Here I am in a rage again,

and like a cheesy movie I begin to sit down and collect myself by reading a book, or writing my ‘masterpiece’. I didn’t imagine this at all; a few days after graduation and no sense of direction and complete boredom. I suppose I have no one to celebrate it with. I feel completely alone. Like a friend once said, going through the pages of my address book wondering whom I can call. Who who who?



Kafka said despair turns you to writing. I should bring back all those books I buried, and breathe/read through them again.



But I am tired of books. I want to sit with people. I want my old friends back. I want to squeeze these continents back into Cairo, back into the little puddle of AUC – I want my youth back. At 25, I say that.



Then again, too much despair because I’m not ‘having a good time’. I will just look at the horrid news on BBC and comfort myself with the relative luxuries of my life. Or try really hard to do so.

Maybe all this angst is just because I’m currently unemployed and without direction. Am considering doing a TEFL course with my cousin. Also am considering jobs overseas, mainly in Asia, areas like Taiwan, Japan, will consider Korea etc. All recommendations welcome :). I haven’t been writing much… wonder where that will go. Need to write to Calarts with a portfolio thingiemajig. Actually should have a website I can post stuff to, but I’d have to find one that is accessible only to owners of a certain password; an exclusive website.