Seeing...

Here is something Yesha passed to me

Keep Looking and You’ll See, Bo Lozoff (02/27/06)

There are three fundamental rules that all the wisdom traditions say will help us accomplish our task, if we follow them. The first is to be cautious about materialism: Don’t want too much. Live modestly. The second is to dedicate yourself to something you believe in, something you think is beautiful and important. The third is to commit yourself to a personal spiritual practice that you can follow every day, even if just for a few minutes. Devote some part of your day to sitting in silence and saying, “Here I am. Guide me.” The point is that if we search outside ourselves for the meaning of life, we’ll probably never find it. But if we center ourselves and look for meaning in life, we’ll find that it’s waiting for us right here in the present moment. And I’m not just talking about the popular notion of “seizing the day,” which sometimes can mean little more than eating dessert first. I mean that a more profound spiritual power and freedom are available to us; that we are much deeper than we usually let on. [...]

If you sit still every day and honestly look at what your mind and body are actually feeling, the little disruptions and disturbances rise to the surface, because you’re not ignoring them or avoiding them. At first, you might know only that something is bothering you. But if you sit with it long enough, it will start to become clear. [...]

My point is that when we deceive ourselves, even in a way that’s popularly considered ok, our practice will point it out. If we have a fairly quiet mind, something inside of us seems to say, over and over, “You did something wrong. You did something wrong.” We ask, “What?” And that something says, “Keep looking, and you’ll see.” And then if you’re willing to act on what you’ve done, you may gain some understanding about yourself, and about the world.

—Bo Lozoff


thank you for this. it is right on.

especially with the part of deceiving yourself. the thing is i don't want to sit still because it may come and tell me. mostly i'm just afraid.

I take a look at myself and think how I could be nicer/kinder/wiser/better/anyone but who i am.

i don't know if its arrogance masked as underconfidence, because i am actually expecting myself to be great, second week into the job. on top of things when actually things have been waiting to happen for a long while.

Anthony Burgess

I bought this book, You've Had Your Time by Anthony Burgess and it inspired the following musings.

If I knew I was dying soon I'd be typing my head off. (just like him)

Will forgotten poetry return to me?
I have lived long enough
to watch words come around,
And to know that this, too, has been noted before.
This, too, shall return.
Rolling Stones, for example,
"And all my words come back to me,
In shades of mediocrity".
And all my prose comes back to me,
In some else's poetry.

A life pinned to a phrase
that returned.


*****************

Advice:
A bag full of tricks,
some of which work.

does silence have an outline?

If you leave something out, does it leave a shadow on the rest of your post, the rest of your words?

The sun is shining on my face from the window - and I shy away from it because it will hurt my eyes but it is such a comfort on this wintry day - these present but rare moments of sunshine. When happiness can be so bright 'it burns your eyes' like Oprah says.

Actually I need to find the context in which oprah said that. She was talking about the future - maybe someone else's future.

I am talking of the present. The gift of the egyptian afternoon sun on an otherwise cold february day. It feels good to wear black cottons. It feels good to have sun pouring yellow on one-half of your face. It feels good to be in your pajamas at 3 pm on a workday, a sunday here in cairo.

Life can be good if you look at the sunny side.